Keeping It Up On The Beer

Keeping It Up On The Beer

Some of you may be aware that I am now fifty years old. FIFTY. It happened in December, and many people were rather bemused by my refusal to have a party. “Why party?” I said, “I’m fifty and I’ve spent more than half of that life in a party.”

So I didn’t have one. Instead I committed to becoming ‘Fittest at Fifty’. I liked the sound of it, it rolled off the tongue and if I wanted to it looked like I could get a lovely logo designed and tattooed on my head. I could also become even more annoying than I already was.

So it started. A commitment to health, both mental and physical. I changed my diet from meat-eating bon viveur to vegetarian, and then on to vegan. Which I still am.

I meditated daily. Which I still am. I committed to running the UK’s toughest marathon and training hard. Which I still am.

I gave up alcohol. Which I still am not. As in I am still not not drinking. It’s just too bloody hard.

So to my delight, I recently discovered a  fantastic new beer. No, it’s an Isotonic Drink. No it’s…. Oh I don’t know. They are sponsoring the Brighton Marathon this weekend and being brave with what they are doing.

I probably shouldn’t be excited by it as it’s a non-alcoholic beer. But I am beginning to learn that like a vibrator, a non-alcoholic beer fills a gap when it isn’t the right time for the real thing. It satisfies the desires and does the job. Personally, I only have experience of the beer, but have been reliably informed that the comparison is a fair one.

But branding your non-alcoholic beer as a refreshing isotonic drink, now that’s just brave and clever marketing isn’t it?

I have to admit I didn’t know what isotonic meant, so briefly I will try to explain how a beer like this can be deemed as such. Isotonic relates to a solution having the same osmotic pressure as some other solution, especially one in a cell or a body fluid. It is a sports drink that contains similar concentrations of salt and sugar to the human body. Not something you would normally associate with beer.

So the brave people at Erdinger took a good long hard look at their product. Then they took an even harder longer look at their market. A market that is growing at an orgasmic pace. Some say it’s 10% year-on-year in the UK, and although this is still a small percentage of the whole market as a whole, trends tend to start small and grow rapidly.

Erdinger shied away from the predictable ‘drink it when your driving’, ‘don’t wake up with the wrong person’ or ‘keep a clear head in the morning’  alcohol-free beer messaging that all the other big brands were saying. They didn’t join their party. They went in hard with a different position. We have produced a really refreshing isotonic drink. And what more would you want after a heavy session or a really long run than a lovely refreshing beer?

I think it’s big, brave. And bold. And it even comes with good head.



  • April 16, 2018


    Well written! But surely a large proportion of drinking beer if not just the taste, but the fuzzy feeling it gives you?!

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